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Published on November 13th, 2013 | by Laure Fourquet

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Feel the fear and do it anyway

Laure Fourquet

ALN news reporter, Laure Fourquet [Seren Jenkins]

New Zealand 2010. It must have been something like April or May. Can’t remember. I had been on the road for about nine months and was doing a final road trip in the North Island. That, I remember.

Tauranga. So much had happened in this place already. The good not so much, the bad: yeah, precisely. The bad.

But I came back. After everything that happened, I came back. It was faith. Nothing was planned – like usual.

I had to move forward to accept that life, travelling, being young; this is just the bright side of it. But let me tell you something, if you ever think that crossing the planet is going to make it better, you’ve got it all wrong.

I was 19, stubborn and pretty damn determined to go as far as possible from home. I made that happen quite successfully. When all my friends had chosen uni, I choose to be free. Or at least, I thought I was free.

Truth is, we never are free. Running fast and far doesn’t make it better. Sometimes it even makes it worse.  This is when you need to be ready. Fear can be a bitch, paralysing your every move, paralysing your thoughts, making you feel like you cannot handle it.

You will panic. Don’t.

Perhaps the most difficult step is acceptance. I know it is unfair. I know you feel alone. Nothing is right. Nothing feels right. And for the very first time, you realise how vulnerable you are. Facing the truth.

This is it, we got there. Avoiding is not an option anymore. It was bound to happen. You just wish you had more time. Now what’s left? You can either shrink, or fight.

Life is made of choices. And living there was mine. Expectations versus reality. Welcome to the world of the grown up.

I choose to fight. No, I am not going home. Yes, everything is different. We are different. From the very moment we accept our fears, from the very moment we face them, we become different. Can you feel it now? You are driven. Fear is the motor of your determination. And from now on, nothing can stop you.

So feel the fear, and do it anyway.

 

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