Published on February 24, 2014 | by Cyp Roy

4

I’m BuzzFed up!

Headshot of jounalism student Cyprien Roy

Cyprien Roy believes that there is nothing to be gained from browsing BuzzFeed [Benjamin Bishop]

I really couldn’t care for BuzzFeed.

It reminds me of those posters in grammar school with lists of things that belong to particular categories.

The problem with the website, or some will say its success, is that it demands absolutely no mental aptitude and it seems like it was created for either:

a) 15 year-old girls who just discovered pot, or
b) Middle America working a nine to five, at a regional accounting firm.

BuzzFeeds dilemma is not that it brings the user ‘amazing’, ‘funny’, or better yet, ‘British’ things by the page load.

It is that it renders one inherently dumb.

There is nothing to be gained from cute kitty photos and 25 ways McDonald’s is different around the world; it’s ludicrous.

The person who would eat McDonald’s around the world should not be travelling around the world in the first place.

Like a drug

Much like social media or defective news aggregators, like Business Insider, the user becomes betrothed to BuzzFeed.

It becomes the go-to, the Safari homepage (yes, I’ve witnessed it), unequivocally the most visited website, during the user’s peak BuzzFeed addiction.

Much like a drug, you can go on benders. Unlike a drug, you simply cannot run out.

You just switch BuzzFeed websites, from the US to the UK and by the time you’ve expired all the content on one, ‘13 facts about Amy Poehler’ will have popped up on the other.

For the sake of mankind’s intelligence, BuzzFeed must be eclipsed from the interwebs.

BuzzFeed engages the user through graphic content and minimal reading, yet still gives off a seemingly educational vibe, like you just learned something invaluable, like ‘what kind of bird are you?’, or better yet, ‘which psychic power should you have?’

The result is a Facebook newsfeed that reads like the first three pages of the Metro, but with the affirmation of The Telegraph.

I have an inkling this is a winning combination.

For the sake of mankind’s intelligence, BuzzFeed must be eclipsed from the interwebs.

Imagine a world in which websites like The New Republic or The Atlantic replaced ill-spent time and mental capacity … the war on dummies would be over!

 

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4 Responses to I’m BuzzFed up!

  1. Sarah K says:

    Use of the word ‘retarded’ is not cool…

  2. Anonymous says:

    “For the sake of mankind’s intelligence, BuzzFeed must be eclipsed from the interwebs.”

    For the sake of mankind’s intelligence, people who use the word “interwebs” must be eclipsed from the internet.

    • Jim Smith says:

      For the sake of mankind, people who don’t understand the irony of the word “interwebs” should be declared too stupid to use a computer. Ever.

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